It’s something a lot of people cope with, but few want to talk about – hearing loss and its impact on personal relationships. Both partners can feel aggravated by the misunderstandings that are caused by hearing loss.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner isn’t it the perfect time to show your love and appreciation for your loved one? A wonderful way to do this is to have a discussion about your hearing loss.
Having “the talk”
A person with untreated hearing loss has a 2.4 times more likely risk of developing cognitive conditions including dementia and Alzheimer’s disease according to some studies. A cascade effect that will ultimately impact the whole brain will be caused when the region of your brain in charge of hearing becomes less active. This is called brain atrophy by doctors. It’s the “use it or lose it” principle in action.
Depression numbers amongst people who have hearing loss are nearly double that of a person who has healthy hearing. Research shows that as a person’s hearing loss worsens, they often become stressed and agitated. The person could begin to separate themselves from friends and family. As they fall deeper into sadness, people with hearing loss are likely to stop taking part in the activities they once enjoyed.
Relationships between family, friends, and others then become strained. Communication issues need to be managed with patients and compassion.
Mystery solved
Your loved one may not be ready to inform you they’re developing hearing loss. They may feel shame and fear. Denial may have set in. You might need to do a bit of detective work to figure out when it’s time to have the conversation.
Here are a few outward cues you will need to depend on because you can’t hear what other people are hearing:
- Avoiding conversations
- Agitation or anxiety in social settings that you haven’t previously observed
- Avoiding busy places
- Watching television with the volume extremely high
- Complaining about buzzing, humming, static, or other sounds that you don’t hear
- Not hearing significant sounds, like the doorbell, dryer buzzer, or someone calling their name
- Repeated misunderstandings
- School, work, and hobbies are starting to become difficult
Plan on having a heart-to-heart discussion with your loved one if you observe any of these symptoms.
How to talk about hearing loss
Having this discussion might not be easy. A loved one may become defensive and brush it off if they’re in denial. That’s why it’s crucial to approach hearing loss in a sensitive and appropriate way. You might need to alter your language based on your unique relationship, but the strategies will be basically the same.
- Step 1: Let them know that you love them unconditionally and value your relationship.
- Step 2: You are worried about their health. You’ve read through the studies. You know that an increased risk of depression and dementia comes along with neglected hearing loss. You don’t want your loved one to deal with that.
- Step 3: Your own safety and health are also a concern. An overly loud television could damage your hearing. In addition, studies show that increased noise can create anxiety, which might affect your relationship. If you have a burglar in your house or you’ve fallen down, your partner may not hear you calling for help. People relate to others through emotion. If you can paint an emotional picture of the what-ifs, it will have more impact than merely listing facts.
- Step 4: Decide together to make an appointment to get a hearing assessment. After you make the decision schedule an appointment right away. Don’t delay.
- Step 5: Be prepared for objections. You could find these oppositions at any point in the process. This is a person you know well. What sort of doubts will they have? Will it be lack of time, or money? Maybe they don’t see that it’s an issue. Do they think they can utilize do-it-yourself remedies? (You know “natural hearing loss cures” don’t really work and could cause more harm than good.)
Have your responses prepared ahead of time. You might even practice them in the mirror. They don’t have to match those listed above word-for-word, but they should concentrate on your loved one’s worries.
Relationship growth
If your spouse is unwilling to talk about their hearing loss, it can be difficult. Establishing a plan to tackle potential communication challenges and the impact hearing loss can have on your relationship will help both partners have confidence that their worries will be heard and understood. By having this discussion, you’ll grow closer and get your partner the help they need to live a longer, healthier, more fulfilling life. Growing together – isn’t that what love is all about?
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References
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/statistics/quick-statistics-hearing#
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/hearing-loss-common-problem-older-adults